You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
