Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
