At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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