I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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