I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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