Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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