what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
