You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
