Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
