how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
