Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
