if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
