It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
