you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
