And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
