My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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