He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
