You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
