he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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