Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
