return my video game
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
