My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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