omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
