Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
