Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
