Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
