I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
