I didn't shave. On purpose
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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