So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
