oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You're like the curious george of whores
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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