i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
