Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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