As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
