I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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