After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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