it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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