just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
