It's Friday. Sex?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
