it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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