bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
