a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
