there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
