nutella sex= disaster
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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