I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
