yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He did a backflip because drugs
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize