new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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