And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
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