Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
