Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
