he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
