Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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