All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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