So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
